Mrs. Refney’s World

Of course, I again fail to blog on a regular basis. Here’s what’s been happening!

–received my Bachelor’s Degree in December! Woohoo!

–Christmas and the holidays were fine, as usual.

–Looking for employment. Ugh. Market is not so good; at least not good enough to afford day care for Aislinn.

Unfortunately, that’s about it!

For the 3 people who may read this… 🙂

School is going well. Midterms are coming up, and I have to start on my 12 page research paper for Southern Politics. I’m really enjoying my on-campus classes, Ancient Political Theory and Southern Politics. I could do without the online Criminal Justice and Career Planning. Which I’m behind on because I’m too busy with my other two classes.

Fall Break is today and tomorrow, so essentially I have a 4 day weekend. I need to spend some of that time working on my online classes.

Mr. Refney has been working hard in the city. Business is good; it just takes him away from us too much.

Last week, we saw Victor Wooten at the House of Blues. He was quite awesome. Check him out if you love you some bass. 🙂  He brought his talented children out on stage to perform a couple of songs. Absolutely beautiful.

Lil’MissRefney is doing quite well. She loves the program she goes to while I’m on campus. She comes home covered in paint and with tons of artwork and smiles.  Luckily, she also falls asleep on the drive home, so she usually goes right down for a restful nap. She’s growing so much, and talking up a storm. Last night, the three of us were lying on the bed playing, and she started singing “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” with the hand motions. Almost perfect. She loves to perform!

#32 is coming up for me in a couple of weeks. I actually don’t feel old this year! 🙂 I’m looking forward to a nice dinner with my husband. Low key is the rule of the year.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Until next time,

MrsRefney

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So, next Wednesday, I enter SLU for the first time in five years as a student. A GRADUATING student!!! One more semester, and I’ll finally have my bachelor’s degree.

It has only taken me 13 years.

I have two online classes, Criminal Justice 101 (which I really don’t care about taking, but it was in my group of study) and Career Planning 304 (how to make a resume, blah blah blah).  I will also be on campus for two classes, Ancient/Medieval Political Theory and Southern Politics. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of reading, essays…those two I’m freaking out about.

It’s gonna be a long semester.

Aislinn also starts “school”. She’ll be going to a Creative Arts Center that has a Mother’s Day Out program on the MWF I will be in class. I’ve never left her with anyone on a consistent basis like this, and she’s only ever stayed with family before. It’s gonna be interesting, though I’m sure more traumatic for me than for her. 🙂

Wish us luck!

Mood swings. Tantrums. Hitting. “No!”. Whining. Screaming.

Where did my easygoing baby go?

Oh, I still get tons of cuddles and kisses, but her tempermant has changed drastically. I think she’s in a growth spurt right now. She’s been waking up with pains in her legs, and when I rub them, she calms down. One day she’ll put down more food than I can, and the next day she won’t eat. It’s the attitude change that is getting to me.

She can be so defiant! I can’t let her rule the house with this attitude, but I’m at a loss at what to do. We’re NOT spanking her; hitting a child for hitting me seems redundant and small. I’m trying time-outs, but I have to sit with her and I feel horrible doing it. She screams and pushes me away. I put her in her crib, and her cries just pull at me. I try to redirect her. “NO!”, she screams at me.

First thing in the morning, and right before bed are the best times in the world. Cuddles, her hands twirling my hair, head on my shoulder. Bliss.

Of course, I blame myself for her behavior. It started when we left on vacation. Steve and I were gone for 6 days without her. She weaned. There are many days I want to nurse her again, to see if her attitude would change back. Of course, there’s no more milk, so that’s not a feasible option.

I’m at a loss at what to do here. I’m reading Dr. Sears “The Discipline Book”, but she seems too young to try any of his methods.

Staying home as much as we do probably isn’t helping. Just the two of us, shut up in this house. I try to get out, make playdates; it’s just so easy to just stay home. I have so much to do here…and yet here I am wasting time on the computer again. Some days I wish I was back at work. Of course, that would give me something else to feel guilty about.

Help?

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Wife? Mother? Home manager(fancy term for stay at home parent)? Anything?

I peruse the Internet, reading parenting blogs, money-saving blogs, anything to do with getting organized with the house and such. 95% of these sites are Christian based. Read your bible. Submit to your husband. etc, etc, blah blah.

Where are the secular parents? I can understand, to a certain extent, the desire for outspoken Christians to make serving their god topmost priority in their life. After all, you won’t have a good marriage or kids or home life unless Ceiling Cat wants you to, right?

Amy finally convince me to leave the house. 🙂

We had a wonderful day bringing all the kiddos to the zoo. It was the last semi-cool, breezy day until November, so we decided to take advantage of it.

Aislinn’s favorite movie right now it “The Jungle Book”, so I knew she would be excited. She loved the elephants (even if they never would turn around), and when we got to the orangutans, she started singing “I Wanna Be Like You” from the movie…King Louie is her favorite!

We all had a great day. Aislinn was asleep 5 minutes after leaving the parking lot. 🙂

Zoo trip

Zoo trip

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Sonya & Aislinn - parade Sunday will mark my second Mother’s Day. How my life has changed since Aislinn entered my life!

Mother’s Day used to be a painful day for me. Some of you know my mother has not been in my life for many years, of her own choosing. I struggled for a very long time with this day. Angry, ashamed, hurt, lost, abandoned. Becoming a mother myself has healed those wounds, mostly. I’ll never understand why my mother left, for I would rather die than willingly leave my child. Aislinn has filled the void I felt for so many years, and for that, I am grateful.

There have been several special women in my life who did their best to make up for the loss of my mother. My Granny was the best of them. I miss her each and every day, and regret she never will meet my daughter. I’ll always have her stories to pass on, though. Aislinn will know her through those.

To all those who have lost mothers, through death, by choice or through heartbreak, I wrap my arms around you. May you know peace in the arms of your own children, now or someday.

To all whose mothers are loving parts of your lives, I envy you, yet I rejoice with you. It is that love I will pass on to my own children.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Sonya

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