Mrs. Refney’s World

Mood swings. Tantrums. Hitting. “No!”. Whining. Screaming.

Where did my easygoing baby go?

Oh, I still get tons of cuddles and kisses, but her tempermant has changed drastically. I think she’s in a growth spurt right now. She’s been waking up with pains in her legs, and when I rub them, she calms down. One day she’ll put down more food than I can, and the next day she won’t eat. It’s the attitude change that is getting to me.

She can be so defiant! I can’t let her rule the house with this attitude, but I’m at a loss at what to do. We’re NOT spanking her; hitting a child for hitting me seems redundant and small. I’m trying time-outs, but I have to sit with her and I feel horrible doing it. She screams and pushes me away. I put her in her crib, and her cries just pull at me. I try to redirect her. “NO!”, she screams at me.

First thing in the morning, and right before bed are the best times in the world. Cuddles, her hands twirling my hair, head on my shoulder. Bliss.

Of course, I blame myself for her behavior. It started when we left on vacation. Steve and I were gone for 6 days without her. She weaned. There are many days I want to nurse her again, to see if her attitude would change back. Of course, there’s no more milk, so that’s not a feasible option.

I’m at a loss at what to do here. I’m reading Dr. Sears “The Discipline Book”, but she seems too young to try any of his methods.

Staying home as much as we do probably isn’t helping. Just the two of us, shut up in this house. I try to get out, make playdates; it’s just so easy to just stay home. I have so much to do here…and yet here I am wasting time on the computer again. Some days I wish I was back at work. Of course, that would give me something else to feel guilty about.

Help?

Amy finally convince me to leave the house.

We had a wonderful day bringing all the kiddos to the zoo. It was the last semi-cool, breezy day until November, so we decided to take advantage of it.

Aislinn’s favorite movie right now it “The Jungle Book”, so I knew she would be excited. She loved the elephants (even if they never would turn around), and when we got to the orangutans, she started singing “I Wanna Be Like You” from the movie…King Louie is her favorite!

We all had a great day. Aislinn was asleep 5 minutes after leaving the parking lot.

Zoo trip

Sunday will mark my second Mother’s Day. How my life has changed since Aislinn entered my life!

Mother’s Day used to be a painful day for me. Some of you know my mother has not been in my life for many years, of her own choosing. I struggled for a very long time with this day. Angry, ashamed, hurt, lost, abandoned. Becoming a mother myself has healed those wounds, mostly. I’ll never understand why my mother left, for I would rather die than willingly leave my child. Aislinn has filled the void I felt for so many years, and for that, I am grateful.

There have been several special women in my life who did their best to make up for the loss of my mother. My Granny was the best of them. I miss her each and every day, and regret she never will meet my daughter. I’ll always have her stories to pass on, though. Aislinn will know her through those.

To all those who have lost mothers, through death, by choice or through heartbreak, I wrap my arms around you. May you know peace in the arms of your own children, now or someday.

To all whose mothers are loving parts of your lives, I envy you, yet I rejoice with you. It is that love I will pass on to my own children.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Sonya